i have split personality. deal with it.


  • Multiple mannerisms, attitudes and beliefs that are not similar to each other
  • unexplainable headaches and other body pains
  • distortion or loss of subjective time
  • depersonalization
  • derealization
  • severe memory loss
  • depression
  • flashbacks of abuse/trauma
  • unexplainable phobias
  • sudden anger without a justified cause
  • lack of intimacy and personal connections
  • frequent panic/anxiety attacks
  • auditory hallucinations of the personalities inside their mind

    the ones that i highlighted with ze colour ORANGE is basically the one that im dealing with. sometimes it cannot be help. this is also known as alter egos or alters. at times i’ll be super effin mad but in a blink of an eye ill be the sweetest girl you’ve ever met. call me crazy. i know in not. im just different. panic attacks? let me tell you this. it hurts alot. it feels like being stabbed. unexplainable  body pains? yeah. i do get it alot. and i wonder why boleh tiba2 sakit. well, some of my friends had dealt with my other half. i am not playing or fooling around. i am serious. thank you. just to make things straight. i am not crazy. just sick.


  • Advertisements

    December 30, 2009 at 3:15 pm Leave a comment

    im Danial’s.


    December 29, 2009 at 1:14 am Leave a comment

    my fight is your fight.


    1 – im deadly tired.
    2 – my eyebags sangat comel eh. NOT.
    3 – tomorrow maybe tak dapat jumpa Baby. ( u tau tak i miss you gila babi? )
    4- those blood sucker insects memang saja nak hancurkan my body kan?
    5 – i wanna meet my sayang. I WANNA WANNA WANNA SEE YOU.

    Hello zhere readers. im back and im super tired. Ze flight was ok till ze stewardess raised up her arms. ya allah. i know that you’re working 4 sectors. oh cmon, take the iniative to spray abit of perfume. you stink ok? no offence. and Bedot is with me right now. her friend. Saiful i think. babbling around about his gf being like a crocodile. ” sekejap nya timbul eh. sekejap nya tenggelam. paham sik kitak? ” haha.  i was like. ok Saiful ok. chill man. if ze girl acts weird. ask her. sort things out.

    Mummy is with me right now. well, as usual beguling kanan kiri and listening to Saiful mebebel. im not in eff mood because.

    so yeah. thats why im not in a eff mood. cheer me up please? pretty please? shoppatherapy. i neeed to shop till i drop. it gives me pleasure and satisfaction (:

    whats my plan for tomorrow? Ooopsy. i mean today. well, 1st of all me and bedot have to teman mummu pay ze bills and ze car. then off we go to take iman’s school uniform. the other day mum sent it for alteration. and then, maybe having our lunch or early dinner around subang. or insyaallah makan at Fatty Crab. craving for it. the nasik goreng,roti bakar, AND lets not forgt the chicken wings! to die for! mouth watering! around 8 as usual la kan. 333 with ze girls (: i misss you Lyn et Shab.

    Grandma Lily loved the kek lapis i made for Aunty Merin. everyone was like i want some. i want some. and i told them that ze cake is for Aunty Merin. sorrry la famillia. and sayang, i bagi ze cake ikhlas ok? i don’t want you to pay for it. i love love la love you.


    December 29, 2009 at 12:50 am Leave a comment

    kikis jak.



    The wedding was fun. tiring tho. that stupid woman who happens to be my ex aunty sangat bingit ehkau ingat kau siapa wei? kau dulu bukan main lagi baik with my granparents kan? bukan main kau bangga kau kahwin with anak Datuk Sri Safri kan? now? u talk bad about my family? u layan my mum mcm babi dekat wedding? LIKE OMG. THANK GOD ALLAH TUNJUK BELANG KAU DEKAT KITORANG OK. IM CRYING BADLY, sambung later.

    December 27, 2009 at 3:52 pm Leave a comment

    can you just thank me and get over it?



    Oh My Gee.  Today sangat tiring eh. Oops. i mean yesterday. 25th. slept around 630am. woke up around 10. Daddy told me to packed my baju semua. I was like what! cakap tak jadi balik. -__-” so yeah. jadi balik Kuching. sampai around 440 plus i think. then Dada terus bawak pergi rumah Nek Su Atok. Aunty Ruby nak kahwin! hahaha. and like omg? whats wrong with you? kena brainwash dengan si keding eh? i pity you. i pity you and the whole family. habis la duit kau Uncle Jeff. kena kikis dgn si Keding. i have 2 words for you. PADAN MUKA. haha. me and Bedot beguling2 depan pelamin. sangat best. (:

    then me,mummy and bedot pergi to ze airport again. sebab nak fetch iman and daddy. while waiting, saya makan dekat airport. nyummeyhh (: me and bedotcamwhoring as usual la kan. anna baru call. pokpekpokpek! lepas tuuu. ” BABBBEEEE, TOPUPKAN AKU ” siot kan? so i told her besok pagi reloadkan. nasib baik aku syg kau. (: now me onlining in the tv room. sangat sejuk eh! bedot pun online. like 6 kaki away from me. haha. so syg called and cakap dia nak balik lambat. i was like. yeah. ok. sure. tapi dalam hati. ” sure, lambat takpe. jgn tak balik je ” haha.

    so yeah. mum knows about me and Danny. and and and and. Mum and Dann pergi stalk my page at Fb. ok. maluuuu ok? *mengada*. and and and and and. MUM LIKES ME. haha. sambil mandi sambil senyum eh tadi. gembira yang tak terhingga. *over*  i love you Aunty Merin. this monday. monday morning saya buat kek lapis Aunty ok?

    me and Bedot tidur dalam tv room la as usual. sudah menjadi routine eh. lepas tu tak reti nak tidur. tomorrow WE have to wake up at 9! then hantar Bedot to Dada’s house. then me and mummy nak pergi Saloon. Granpa’s book launching remember? at Merdeka Palace. now waiting for Dann to balik rumah. YA ALLAH. saya bosan. cepat balik. dah la i misss you to the very max dah ni. tee hee.

    i know you love me Mohd Danial Zainudin.

    Rara loves Danny too (:

    Rara Danial.

    December 26, 2009 at 1:27 am Leave a comment

    Up Up You Go.

    Good Morning to everybody.

    Slept around 630am. sorry i can’t teman u more than that sayang. ya allah. so effin sleepy you know. thanks for understanding. i’ll be away for 2days. 2days aint that long but, ill be at kuching and ntah berapa ratus ribu kilometer from here. if the distance is like klia to rumah. i won’t miss you as much as i will miss you. get it? so this is the 1st time ill be dealing with you not around for 2days. YE LA. KITA KAN DAH COUPLE. IN A RELATIONSHIP. GIRLFRIEND BOYFRIEND. masa balik the other week belum ada apa apa lagi kan. lets just hope no tears eh. i love you (:

    ahhh Lyn. sangat style apa yang anda tulis di blog anda. Me likey Lyn! Me likey! (:
    keep up the good work. if oranga cakap i menganjing you or you menganjing i. TAK APA. let them. we menganjing each other and ATLEAST kita honest towards each other. well, that is what true friends buat. well, bukan true friends la. lets just say. you’re more than a friend. i treat ypu like  Sister. and you treat me like Sister. thats the only thing SHE doesnt have. i love you (:

    To Shabby my sayang. im sorry i can’t make it tonight. Daddy bagitahu last minute plan pasal nak balik. wanted to suprise everyone esp Danny. tengok tengok, jadi balik. AHHHH. sangat stress eh Shabby. i missss you Shab. i promise i balik nanti i buat Chicken In The Foil and Lasagna for you k? and insyaallah i akan buat Oxtail Stew (:

    stats for zeze blog meningkat plak kan pagi2 buta macamni. thank you for reading (:

    Rara Danial.

    December 25, 2009 at 10:25 am Leave a comment

    i’ll stop the world and melt with you.


    December 24, 2009 at 11:00 pm Leave a comment

    Older Posts


  • Blogroll

  • Feeds